The ScotEnium!
by Lady Bevier
Summary: Set in Scotland Where I live funnily enough, Bevier randomly appears on my doorstep one night. Good or bad thing? Read to find out. Updated after years of neglect!
1. How It All Began

w00t! I've gotten round to writing more than just playscript humour, and this is my first try, so I need all the tips I can get ^^;; Oh, Ariandir..*cowers* I'm sorry if I steal your ideas, but mine is hopefully kinda different...heheheheheh...forgive me ^^;; I was inspired by "There's An Elf In My Kitchen" to write my own version, though I suppose I daydreamed about it before...read TAEIMK all you deprived souls, it's really awesome *hail-ness to Ariandir* Oh yeah, I don't own David Eddings etc.

Oi! Ariandir, I know that I should wait to see if you don't mind me posting this but you don't seem to have been online at all recently =/ so I've just posted it. If you mind at all email me and I take it down! ^_^ And off we go! 

~*~

You know, I have no idea how to start this off....oh well....

I guess I should start at the beginning, that's always a good place to begin if you're going to begin to begin something that hasn't already begun to begin...if that made any sense at all...anyway, forget the damn prologue, it can hide in a tree and eat Jaffa cakes or something while the story just starts writing itself. So the main point is, this is the beginning of the story, so it would be a good idea for me to damn well tell you what happened, yes? ...Good, I'm glad we're agreed.

So I was sitting....not writing songs, not playing a musical instument, not eating a pineapple...just sitting at the computer monitor. Guess what I was doing... I was, wait for it, _typing_! Oh, how exciting and unusual...anyways...it was raining outside, quite heavily even for Scotland. One of the bulbs had blown so I had a candle sitting next to me. 

There was a knock at the door. I glanced at the clock on the wall….02:00 hours….I looked at my watch…half past seven…stupid clock….. It was a little early to be my brother coming home from his guitar lesson. I got up, I couldn't believe it, I had to walk a whole two metres to kitchen because my ditz of a big brother couldn't remember his house keys. Sure enough, there was a figure about the size of my big brother at the door, of course, I couldn't see him that clearly. Sighing, I opened the door.

And that was the start.

~*~

well, what did you think? I'm working on the next chapter as you read this…bet you _really _can't guess who's at the door *wry grin* review please!

PS: If ya can think of a better name for ma fic, please tell me.. I really couldn't come up with anything better than this o_o ..... yeah, did you get it, by the way? I'm Scottish and The Elenium was callled that cause it's set in Eosia about Elenes so I kinda merged the words Scottish and Elenium to make Sco_enium and...yeah...I can see you don't care. Anyway *sweatdrop* , moving swiftly on.............^_^;;


	2. Gonnae no kick in ma door!

Next chapter, and I'm not out of ideas yet, astonishing ^^;; I apologise for the shortness of the last chapter but, meh , I wanted a cliffhanger, can ya blame me? *cute smile* I dun' own Davy Eddings, k?

I apologise for the mess my chapters were in before. They _were_ like they are now but when I uploaded them they were all clumped together…o.o…ah well ^_^;;

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I wrenched open the door and the rain lashed straight across my face......how I love my country's weather ( -- sacrcastic-ness ). "YES?!" I bellowed against the wind. The figure looked a bit taken aback at my volume, maybe the wind wasn't as strong as I thought, or maybe I'm a loudmouth.

"ARE YOU THE LADY OF THE HOUSEHOLD?" He called out. It was at this point I realised this wasn't my brother.

"Ummmm... yes?"

"PARDON?"

"YES!"

"MAY I ENTER YOUR HOUSEHOLD, MY LADY?"

"Uhh...SURE!"

"MY THANKS."

As I shut the door behind him I mentally gauged the distance to the living room phone. I was phoning 999 if this guy was a nutcase.... yes, I know I invited him in, but I guess I've always had a problem saying no to people. Besides, if he was a nutcase he would have punched his way in anyway. I suddenly wished I'd paid attention to Crimewatch more often....

He picked up the candle which was looking a little pathetic. It hadn't really stood a chance against the barbaric Scottish weather. I felt a little sorry, I could have tried to burn the dude's *insert-word-here* if he'd tried anyhing...(Hey! He could have a flammable weapon ya know...like...a notepad! very _very_ dangerous...could give you a paper cut!).

"Don't bother with that, the light works in here" I said, calmly flicking a switch and flooding the kitchen with visibility. The effect was electric! (-- _Bad_ pun .o). He spun around and in a spilt second had a blade whipped out of a sheath and pointed towards me. I decided that then would be a good time to run.

I scrambled into the living room and desperately tried to hold the door shut while picking up the phone which was on the floor. No easy task I assure you, especially when there's a man on the other side of the door who seems to be a bizillion time stronger than you are at any rate. I pressed my shoulders up against it and wished there was a suitable chair nearby.

"What's going on?!" The guy on the other side of the door sounded a little scared and more than a little desperate, kind of how I felt.

"I'm calling the police, that's what!" I bawled back.

"Why?"

"Why? WHY?!? BECAUSE THERE'S A PSYCHO WITH A SWORD IN MY GODDAMN KITCHEN WHO'S TRYING TO BREAK DOWN THE GODDAMN DOOR, THAT'S DAMN WELL WHY!!!"

Abruptly the pressure on the other side of the door stopped. I gave a sigh of relief...shortly followed by a loud obscenity as he proceeded to kick the door open. I fled into the bathroom and rammed the lock shut. After my heart and lungs had quietened enough to let my regain my hearing I listened hard and, soon enough, I heard stealthy footsteps coming down the extension corridor. There was also a small clinking sound, like metal. Odd.

I clapped my hands over my mouth as I heard him pause outside the door.

"Do I have to kick this door in as well, My Lady?"

I didn't reply. He wouldn't dare, would he? 

"I know that you're in there, My Lady. All of the other rooms are empty."

What was with that "My Lady" thing? Freakin' mental case...I waited and eventually I heard him retreat back up the corridor. I waited for another few minutes to make sure. He'd probably gone to disable the living room and hall phones. Well, I had my mobile in my room which, luckily, is right across from the bathroom. I cautiously unlocked and opened the door. I squinted out into the corridor. I couldn't see any sign of movement in the semi-darkness. Taking off my slippers, I crept into my room and fumbled for my mobile. I dialed 999, or would have if I wasn't suddenly grabbed from behind. I screamed, well, I would have if a hand wasn't clamped over my mouth. I could feel his breath as a mist round my neck.

"I will not hurt you, My Lady. I understand that, alone in the house, you may feel threatened, but I mean you no harm. I only wish to know which way it is to the city of Cimmura and how far away it is, then I will leave and pester you no longer."

__

Cimmura? Had I heard him right? 

"Now, I will take my hand off of your mouth, but you must not scream or struggle, understand?"

I nodded and he realeased me.

~*~

As I led the way into the living room I wondered if I could make a break for it. I could dash into the kitchen and be out the door and at my neighbours house within 2 minutes...If I ran the whole way. My house happens to be in the country and our closest neighbours are a family that own a stables down the road from us. I sighed, who was I kidding? That guy would catch me before I got past our garden gate, and I did _not_ want to make him angry. Heh, no sirree - he'd have my guts for some very stylish garters (or not, depending on hs fashion sense).

I turned on the living room light and I heard the floor creak as he tensed up. No unsheathing of sword. Good. I sent up a quick prayer before I turned round. "Now, who are you and where do you come fro......." I almost fell over with shock. He regarded me cautiously as he replied.

"My name is Sir Bevier, I am the champion of the Cyrinic order of knights of Arcium. I am a warrior of God. I ask you again, My Lady, which way to Cimmura? I was only a few days of travel from the city when I was attacked by bandits. I fell from my horse and the next thing I remember is waking up and seeing this household. Where am I?"

"_Bevier_?" My voice sounded like it came from somewhere very far away.

"Yes?"

I swallowed. "I think...maybe...it might take a you a while to get to Cimmura......."

"Oh..."

I tried to think of something witty to say...I failed.

"......BOLLOCKS!"

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What did you think? ^^;; Review please. I hope I'm not ripping off Ariandir too much *worried frown*

If you don't understand any of the slang or terms I use I'd be happy to try and translate. ^^;; Even _I_ sometimes have trouble understanding Scottish slang, especially if it's my peers *rolls eyes*

I'll try and update soon! =) Love ya!


	3. Got any Tetley?

Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiit's baaaaaaaaaaaaack! ^^;; heehee! I don't own David Eddings or Bevier, I'm not sure if I own myself or not but, hey, if I get sued it won't really bother you guys so who cares? ^^;; Amazing idea credit-ness all to go to Ariandir for she is owning in general! If ya like this fic, review it. If not, review it and help me improve! Weeee!

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We both sat, staring in a kind of mutual emotional slump. I think that to be honest neither of us knew what to say. 

"How far?" I looked up at his question. His voice sounded like he knew the answer already and only needed it confirmed.

"It's in another world..." I mumbled. He nodded.

"I thought so. So, I suppose I should ask your...." He question petered out as he actually noticed my clothes. "Why are you wearing such.....odd breeches?" I looked down at my hipster jeans.

"And..what is...." His face suddenly blushed bright red and he jumped up out of his seat, "Oh, my Lady. I am so sorry, I disturbed you when you were dressing. Not only that, I..._man handled_ you!"

The penny dropped, clunking into the empty purple mists in my head. I supposed my top was a little more skimpy that a long-sleeved gown.

"No, it's okay. This is what I normally wear." I tried to explain, gesturing at the offensive item of clothing. It wasn't revealing at all but I could kind of understand how it would seem so to him.

"You normally walk about your household in your undergarments?!?!" I had to stop myself from smiling. It would offend him, and I felt sorry for him. He looked absolutely and completey mortified. I probably would too, if I was in his position.

"No, I mean this is what all girls wear, well, clothes like this. It isn't considered revealing at all."

"Girls? How old _are_ you?"

"Umm...fourteen....."

"_FOURTEEN_! And you're in the house on your own?!" 

"...yeah...."

"Your parents don't disapprove?"

"No..."

He looked at me in disbelief. "I can see this world _is_ different from mine..." He didn't sound too happy about this, which I suppose is also understandable.

I searched for something to say. ".....would you like some tea?"

"........yes, thank you."

"No problem"

As I went into the kitchen I was struck by how stupid that last bit of converstation was. I mean, really: _I'm someone from another dimension who isn't supposed to exist. Got any Tetley? _I am such a spam. Nevertheless, I set about making Bevier, the supposedly nonexistant knight, some tea. I looked at my reflection in the window, striking against the dark night. I shivered. Maybe I was just cracking. The stress of school or something. Life wasn't suposed to do this. It's not fanfiction.net, nonexistant people don't turn up at you doorstep one night. I must just be seeing things, or sleep walking or something. I considered just walking out the front door and not coming back until he had gone, but then I consider opening the door of a moving car and throwing myself out, just to see what would happen. Of course, I would never actually _do_ anything like that, which is why I just took the tea back into the living room.

He sipped at his tea distractedly, lost in his thoughts and the silence grew rather embarrasing. 

"My name is Marjory." I said, breaking the silence with a metaphorical rabid sledgehammer. He didn't reply. I examined my slippers. This wasn't how I imagined a meeting with a guy who I've loved since reading page 275 of the Diamond Throne. (Yes, I'm sad.... but I hail Bevier! ).

I gave him a sideways examination. As expected, he was way beyond good looking. The words "insanely attractive" and "incredibly handsome" came to my mind along with "ph33rfully w00tiful" but I don't think he would appreciated the last description. He was exactly how I had pictured him in my head, only better. He didn't look anything like that awful picture my brother and I found on the internet. My brother! My Parents! MY GOD! What would my parents say!?! I leaped out my seat and started to pace the floor. 

"We have to find you somewhere to stay..."

"Shouldn't I talk to your father?"

"He wouldn't believe you, he'd think you were insane and you'd be put in an institution."

"Do you believe me?"

I paused. I wanted to, deep down I really did. However, there was a voice in my head that was being very clinical and irritating.

__

Yeah, right! You know Bevier doesn't exist. This just proves that this guy is a mental-case! 

............... Screw the voice!

"I believe you, Bevier." I said, with total sincerity. "But we have to think of where you can stay." I absently rubbed at my jaw. Then I clicked. "I know, come with me." I trooped into the kitchen and pulled on a pair of welly boots. We walked together along the road to the stables. The rain had faded away leaving the damp smell of night which I absolutely love. I could see the stars reflecting in the puddles and the silhouettes of the electricity pylons against the night sky. It was beautiful!

I led Bevier to one of the empty sheds. "This is it...well, it's all I can think of at the moment...."

"It's fine." He assured me.

"Well, " I said, starting to head away, "I'll come back and see you tomorrow, and we can try and sort something out then, okay?" There was no reply.

I made my way back up to my house and collapsed onto my bed, asleep almost immediately. Tomorrow.....who knows what will happen....

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Yay...o.o Hopefully the story will actually start properly next chapter. Please review! ^^;;


	4. Mummy, Mummy! There's a bevier in my sh...

Huzzah....^_^;; I do not own David Eddings...or the original idea for this story. Everyone hail Ariandir.

Everyone: *hails Ariandir* Yay!

Me: ...=) (Thanks Arian! )

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"Hello?" I peered at the doorway to the shed. It was the next morning, and I was beginning to think I had dreamed all about Bevier.

_I must be going insane. I am soooooo stupid. Like Bevier's real...if he was I would be in such a big amount of trouble and, to steal a phrase from my gran, it would probably all end in tears. Okay, one more chance and then I'm away._

"Anyone there?" No answer. I turned away, feeling more than a little foolish but, I must admit it, rather relieved. It was then Bevier appeared looking rather bedraggled at the doorway. My heart not only sank, but fell off its deck chair in shock and was buried under an avalanche of wet fish. (AN: Ignore the stupid phrases.. ^^;; I make them up.)

"I am sorry, I was not sure if it was you, Lady Marjory."

"Um, no bother..."

We examined each other. He looked a lot worse than he had last night. In the early morning light I could see several small cuts and some bruises on him. There was dirt on most of his clothes and he had a streak of grime running down the side of his face......It didn't hide his good looks.....damn me and my distracted-ness. Looking at him, any resolve I had to leave well alone melted faster than butter in a psychotic microwave. There was no going back now.

"Come on up to my house," I said, indicating it with my head, "You can get cleaned up."

"What about your parents?"

"Working." I assured him. Just as well, considering the mess he was in.

~*~

As we entered the kitchen and I turned on the immerser, I suddenly thought of something. What could Bevier wear?! I mean, obviously his clothes had to be washed, so what to do about him. Somehow I didn't think he'd appreciate walking about with only a towel on for several hours. I'd be happy, knowing me, but he wouldn't. Who could I borrow clothes off of? I looked at the doorway to my older brother's room. Bingo!

I was sure I could get clothes off of my older brother, Hugh. We get on really well, and I mean _really well_. He's like, practically one of my best friends. He's rather tall, 17, and doing Advanced Higher Maths, Chemistry and Physics. In short, he is VERY smart. 'Course, he says I'm gonna do much better than him at school. (AN: *gulp* )

I showed Bevier how to use a shower and exited the bathroom before I had too many naughty thoughts. Now, to take the brother by the horns. I knocked on his door. I hadn't worried about him finding Bevier as, if he isn't woken up, he can stay in bed until one or even two in the afternoon. Shocking, isn't it?

Where was I? Oh yeah, knocking on his door. There was a groan. I waited patiently.

"Yes?" Came the sleepy voice.

"Hugh, can I borrow some clothes?" Delicate as always, that's me.

"....._what_?" Okay, maybe not.

"Could I borrow some clothes?"

After a few seconds the door opened and my brother stood there, looking sleepy.

"You what?"

"Could I," I was blushing by this time, " Could I borrow some of your clothes?"

"...._why_?"

He was giving me a very odd look. I may as well come clean, I can trust Hugh. he's kept a lot of my secrets. For instance, he didn't tell Mum that I had messed up in trying to connect the PS2 to my TV and had, for weeks, been unable to watch any videos. My brother Hugh is a friend indeed. I'd tell him gently though. I didn't want to shock him.

"Ummm...well...you see..." screw gently "Last night Bevier appeared at the kitchen door and he has no place to go so I'm going to look after him and his clothes are all minging and stuff so I was wondering if he could borrow some of yours." All in one breath, too. I am amazing.

Hugh blinked at me for a few seconds.

"Bevier?"

"Yes! You know who I'm talking about! You've read David Eddings!"

"...is this a joke?"

"No!"

"Where is this Bevier, then?"

"I am here, Good Sir." I jumped at the sound of Bevier's voice. Had he heard about David Eddings? I assumed he had no knowledge that parts of his life were being sold all over the world. Probably best not to tell him. Might make the poor guy hyperventilate.

I saw Hugh squint over my shoulder, then look at me in disbelief. I gave him an eccentric grin.

"I think Bevier would appreciate some clothes."

"....'kay" my brother said faintly.

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.....Bevier was in my shower.....*slams head off table* EVIL! SIN! EVIL!

.....^_^ Read and review!


	5. See these women riders?

Aaarg! I just read over the last few chapters and I realised how awful they were!1 *beats self with a spatula* I will really try to improve this, if I can't I'll probably take it down, so roll in the helpful criticisms, people! o_0

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If I screwed up my eyes against the sun and concentrated, I thought I could make out a figure in the shadows of the trees at the edge of the field next to the huge riding arena. Well, Bevier had said he'd watch my riding lesson. I just prayed that he'd stay there and not bring attention to himself. I couldn't spend my whole lesson looking for him. Iain would realise I wasn't paying attention and-

"MARJORY! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING, WOMAN?!"

I blinked and concentrated on my instructor.

"Sorry."

"NOW TRY FOR AN OUTLINE AND SIT STILL!! STILL! RIDE WITH YOU LEGS, NOT YOUR ARSE!!"

I winced. 

"Yes, Iain."

My pony, Zita, had her nose rammed firmly up in the air and was prancing round the arena like an idiot. No amount of jiggling at her mouth would get her to curve her neck round and sit her head in an outline. I gritted my teeth as my left arm went into spasm at the constant movements I made. Then, sensing a weakness, Zita joyfully fell into the circle and refused to be pushed back out again by my leg.

"DON'T YOU DARE USE THAT OUTSIDE REIN! KICK THE BLOODY HORSE OUTWARDS! STAY ON THE CIRCLE! SIT STILL! BLOODY HELL WOMAN! YOU'RE RIDING LIKE SHIT!"

Nup, still no outline.

"Fine, we'll try again next time. Keep practising that outline." Iain lectured, returning to normal voice pitch before marching off to officiate around the stables. Zita plodded out the arena with her head between her knees like an old nag as I nursed my aching limbs. And people say riding is easy.

As Zita and I reached the end of our drive, I saw Bevier standing there. He looked furious. 

"Hi, Bevier" I said, acutely aware that my face was bright red from exhertion and that my T-shirt was sticking to me with sweat.

"How dare he!" the knight snarled, his fists clenched at his sides and his eyes glaring.

"Huh?"

"Didn't you _hear_ the way that curr spoke to you?!"

"..wha? Oh, Iain's my riding instructor."

Bevier drew himself up. "That. Is. No. Excuse. How dare that swine address you in such a manner! It's horrendous! I should teach him what is proper when addressing maidens" He cracked his knuckles.

__

Oh Bugger.

"That's the way he is with everyone. It's no biggie." I said hurriedly.

Bevier pursed his lips and didn't reply.

"It's not illegal to talk to women that way!" I explained nervously.

He folded his arms stubbornly and glared at my postbox. 

"If you make a fuss you'll be found out!" I hissed, desperately.

He looked at me for a minute, then sighed.

"I supose you are correct." he muttered reluctantly.

__

Phew.

We walked along my road for a few minutes, letting Zita cool off after our lesson.

"That's a very nice looking pony." said Bevier absently, reaching to rest his hand on her neck. Her head swung up and she made a face at him before flouncing away with her ears pinned back.

"Zita!" I scolded. "Sorry, she's not bad, just cheeky." I patted her furry black neck as we walked on in silence.

"So, women have no protection in this world?"

I was a little taken aback at this question. This affected the depth of my answer.

"No!"

"Well," he said in a confused voice, "Who protects you, then?"

I thought for a few seconds.

"There's an organisation called the police who stop crime."

"Do you have one of these _police _looking after you?"

"Me personally? No, they just come when something happens to you and they try to catch the criminal."

"But then it's too late. A young maiden should have more protection than that."

"Well, I look after myself."

"What if you're attacked?"

"I won't be."

"What if you are?"

"Well...I'll defend myself..."

"Like you defended yourself against me?" His tone was a just little smug at having proved whatever point it was he was getting at.

"....Why are you asking me all this?" I asked, trying to change the subject from our first meeting. I was feeling quite stupid about the whole thing.

Bevier halted Zita and got on one knee. He took a breath and cleared his throat.

__

Oh no! What the hell is he doing?! This looks suspiciously like a proposal!!!11!!1!!11!

"My Lady," he began, "from what I have seen of your world it is a hazardous place with little protection, especially for a maiden like you."

"...yeah?"

"Therefore, I shall be your protector and champion."

__

...you whit?!?!

"What?"

"I shall make sure that no harm comes to you, and I shall fight to uphold your honour. You are helping me in this world, it is the least that I can do to protect you."

I blinked.

__

Thank Goodness! 

"Uhhh...okay."

He stood with a relieved smile on his face and we turned back towards home.

__

................Why am I thinking this might be trouble?

Yay, a chapter at last! I mean what I said at the top! Okay, people?! Good. Heehee, I got a knight protector!


	6. School? NUUUUUU! Queue scary music!

...arg...I take too long to update...forgive me? I dun' own David Eddings or Bevier...^_^  
  
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I was standing in my kitchen in my school uniform at ten to eight in the morning, waiting for the taxi to pick me up to take me to the bus stop (It's stupid, I know). I almost leapt out of my skin when Bevier appeared. I never know how, but he's amazing at knowing when I'm alone and sneaking up on me. He'd gotten worse since he'd become my "champion". It was flattering and everything, but a little odd. "Where are you going? Why are you in those clothes? Why are you up so early?" "GAH! Where did you come from?!" I glanced around frantically, searching for any family life-forms. "I saw the lights on and I wondered what was happening. What is happening? Where are you going?" "What if my dad had been here!? And how did you get in? I didn't hear any doors opening?" "He left half an hour ago and that's not important! Where are you going?" "You have to answer my question!" Bevier paused and looked confused. "....why?" "Because I asked you first!" ".........no you didn't, I asked you first." he pointed out. I thought for a minute and then my head slumped forward. "....drat..." "Where are you going anyway, My Lady?" "School." I mumbled. He blinked. "Where I go to get educated. I have to wear these clothes as it's the uniform." "But......you're female...don't you get tutored at home?" I shook my head and smiled blandly. "Nup." "...What is your school like?" he asked a little suspiciously. "Well, all the kids from the area go to it -" "You mean all the girls?" "No....all the kids. The boys too." He looked scandalised. "There are boys going too?!" "Yes." A pause. "I am going with you." It took a second for this staement to penetrate my brain fully. ".......What!?! No!" "Why not? I am your champion. I must protect you and uphold your honour." "You can't come to school with me! Men don't just turn up with students and follow them about!" "Ah-" he said gravely "But I would not merely be accompanying you, I would be protecting you. Surely the school cannot disagree with that." "I don't need protected! The teachers look after me!" "Are they trained in battle?" "No." "Well then." "No! Look!" I took a deep breath and tried to put it into terms that Bevier's culture would understand. "It is not..uh...proper for a man unrelated to a girl to be ...uhh.. in a close proximity of her ...uhh.. lots." Wow, great ending. It seemed to work though, as Bevier looked more than a little frustrated. "But.....I'm your champion....." I looked at him apologetically. He sighed and a resigned expression grew on his face. "Very well." "Thank you, Bevier. Anyway, it would have put you in danger and you could have been found out. And that would not have been good." Just then there was the sound of a car pulling up outside the gate. Bevier flinched as he always seemed to do around cars, TVs, lights and other technology. "Bye!" I called, charging out the door and up the drive. I waved to Bevier from the window and he raised a single hand in farewell before the taxi drove down the road. Okay, so I felt more than a little bit bad, but what could I do? I told him the truth; he couldn't have come to school with me. Besides, if he gets freaked out by cars, how's he going to react in my school? I mean, I get freaked by my school, and I've been attending for three years. This is the best way. No matter how evil I feel leaving the poor guy all alone for the whole day.....Damn it.  
*** I yawned as my friend Alistair sat down next to me. "Hi." "Hi." ...silence... "So," I tried to think of something to talk about, ".....How are you?" "Tired." "Oh....me too." "Yeah." ...what a wonderful and deep conversation..... and yet I cannot think of anything else to talk about.... "So," I tried agin, "What've you been up too?" "Nothing. The weekend was shite." "Oh." Alistair's never big for conversation in the morning, especially as he stays up until 2 every night. I tried to think of something else to say. "...." inspiration "Oh! I finished my book! It was great! Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa......" Alistair looked bored, he had heard so many of my tributary sighs to great books that it never even wierded him out any more. We were silent until we got to school.  
*** "Hello Miss Wallace!" "Hi John!" "Fuck off!" I frowned at Alistair. "That's mean!" "Well John's fucking well butting in on our converstion and-" "What have you been up to, Miss Wallace?" asked John, ignoring Alistair's cranky remarks. I grinned brightly at him, pleased to have someone else who was human in the morning. "Nothing much." "Marjory! You fucking-" "Me neither." "Stop fucking well ignoring me-" "Have you done your German homework?" "Marjory! Fucking well talk to me you fucking-" "Yeah." "MARJORY!" Alistair grabbed me by the arm and pincered his fingers down on my pressure point making me yelp in pain. Then he kicked John's chair. "Stop fucking well talking to him when you're talking to me! He's always butting in! It's fucking irritating!" I sadly nursed my wrist. "You're mean!" "Ah, but I'm funny." "Damn it!" I started to laugh. "So," I looked round at John and Alistair growled. I ignored him. "Yes, John?" He thought for a minute. "Have you been looking for Bevier?" Now, John has never read a David Eddings book, but he sits next to me in German and in front of me in Modern Studies, so he knows me well enough to realise that I am a hopeless fanatic. He also reminded me, in his joking question, of something very important which, me being incredibly thick, I had forgotten about completely. I blinked for a few seconds, then spun round to face Alistair. "OhmygoshOhmygosh! I have something really important to tell you!" He looked at me questioningly. "Yes?" I took a deep breath, and told him. Silence. Then he and John erupted into hysterical laughter. "That's a good one." sniggered Alistair mockingly. I looked at them, crestfallen. "But it's true." I whimpered in a tiny voice. "Marjory, you know, you, you, Fuck off!" cried Alistair starting to laugh again. I sighed and looked down moodily at my Modern Studies folder, this was not going to be a good day.  
*** School was boring. So I'm not going to bore you with a boring account of my boredom there. After school I went out to see to my pony, hoping Bevier would appear. He didn't. I went home, hoping he'd be there. He wasn't. I ran down to the sheds. Nothing. I flopped down depressed on my bed that night. Maybe he had fallen out with me over the school thing. I sighed unhappily. The next morning I was standing waiting for the taxi. Still no sign of Bevier. He must've left. For all that his protectiveness was a hassle, I was really sad at the thought of his leaving. Suddenly- "Good morning, Lady Marjory!" "GAH!" I spun around. "How do you do that!?" "That doesn't matter! I've found a way to be with you at school!" "...you whit?"  
  
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Okay, so you all saw that coming! Lol, ah well. I'll try and update soon! 


	7. Who're you talkin' tae?

Hahah! ^_^ I'm actually updating withing a week of my last chapter! It's amazing! LOL! Bevier isn't mine, which is a shame.

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"I've found a way for me to accompany you to school!" Bevier repeated.

I blinked up at him.

__

Oh no...why do I have a bad feeling about this?

"But...how?" I asked, puzzled.

"Well," Bevier led me to the living room and sat me down.

__

...this is not good....

"I don't want you to be scared by this, but, well, my order of knights are taught magic."

He looked down at me concerned, as if expecting me to swoon in shock.

__

...that was it?

"Oh. That all?"

Now it was Bevier's turn to be puzzled.

"But you have no magic here, I know that much of your culture. Aren't you even a little shocked?" he said confusedly.

__

Oh yeah...he doesn't know about the books...

I had decided that it wouldn't be a good idea to tell the knight that parts of his life were written in detail and sold as fiction. It might have scared him. I had hidden the books inside my underwear drawer, figuring that that was the least likely place Bevier would ever dream of exploring.

"Well, there are lots of books with stories about magic in them," I hazarded, "And as your from another world I guess it isn't so strange..."

"Maybe.." he looked at me a little suspiciously, but his expression cleared when I changed the subject.

"So what were you saying about coming to school with me?"

"Ah, yes! There is a certain spell that I..uh.._remembered_....last night which will enable me to establish a connection between our minds therefore allowing me to experience what you do. I would prefer to accompany you in person, but this way there will be no obvious breach of ettiquette.", he suddenly looked a little uncomfortable, "Unless, of course, you do not agree..."

__

Oh good, I was worried he had been employed as a teacher or something.

(AN: o.o that would have been...odd...)

"Yeah, okay." I said. He looked relieved.

"Right," he placed a hand on either side of my head, took a breath, and started to speak. Then the taxi beeped its horn outside.

I moved to go but Bevier stopped me. "It will only take a minute" he pleaded, before beginning to murmur in a low voice which sent a shiver from the back of my neck down my spine and back up again. A dizziness built up inside of my skull as the sound of his voice grew a little louder. Then he stopped and my head suddenly felt twice as heavy as normal.

"Marjory!" my Dad was in the kitchen, "That's the taxi for you!"

"Uhh...coming!" I called back faintly.

"You go to school, I'll find a way out." Bevier assured me as he helped me to stand up. I nodded and exited the house.

***

Walking up the drive my head stopped feeling so heavy and I felt more normal, but when I got in the taxi I felt a strange ripple inside. Fear? I'm not afraid of cars! It's Bevier who doesn't like.....damn...this is not good. Not good at all.

***

Okay, so I had Bevier inside my head. That wasn't really what I had expected. It wouldn't have been too bad if it weren't for the fact that his feelings seemed to be affecting mine. Suddenly him being employed as a teacher didn't seem quite such a bad idea. (AN: Hmm..what a great fanfic idea...kidding! o.o)

The bus journey there was uneventful, as Alistair had stayed up even later than usual the night before reading Harry Potter. It all started when we reached school.

Okay, it didn't start as soon as we reached school, more like when the first bell rang. Alistair and I were walking down the steps towards the milling area where we line up, when I tripped. This of course, being the riot of the millenium to the very tall and very dangerous looking ned nearby, who started guffawing. Now, my normal behaviour would be to walk away and then mutter something insulting about his intelligence out of ear-shot. But then I don't normally have a chivalrous medieaval zealot inside my head.

I stalked up to him, and narrowed my eyes.

"You craven, base-born, cringing curr!" I spat furiously, "Are thy manners so small that thou wouldst poke fun at one fairer and better than yourself!"

He smirked at me and I suddenly realised how very much bigger he was than myself.

"Who're you talkin' tae?"

__

Oh God! I don't want to die! I'm too young!

"Isn't it obvious? Even a witless donkey like yourself should know I am addressing you! You drag what little honour your forefathers gained through the muck you cowardly dog!"

The ned's friends were just about killing themselves laughing and, in that irritating way, were mockingly repeating snatches of Bevier's angry scolding and sniggering.

"Forefathers! Pure state o' that!"

"This bitch is pure mental, by the way!"

I stood with my fists clenched and glared up at the ned who had joined in the laughter. Then he stopped and sneered contemtuously down.

"Are you wantin' battered or somthin'?

__

Oh my God! That guy is in fifth year at least! I'm going to die! This is it! Goodbye cruel world!

"So you would be cowardly enough to assault a female! You piece of lowborn scum!"

I spat on the ground in front of him.

"Marjory!" hissed a nervous Alistair from behind, "What the fuck are you doing?!"

The ned got up off the table he had been leaning on (Making him even _taller_!) and sauntered up until we were eye-to-eye (Or should that be eye-to-chest? o.o) then he looked down at me unblinkingly.

"Ya freak!"

I glared right back up at him and we stood like that for a few seconds, until the second bell rang. Then I turned my back on him and walked away rigid with supressed fury. It was then I realised that practically the entire school had stood and watched me berate one of the biggest thugs in the building, maybe even the surrounding area, and that says a lot.

I managed to retain my steady pace until I turned the corner, then, as Bevier gave me control of myself again, I took off practically squealing in terror.

"Oh my God!" I moaned, clutching my head.

__

Why am I still alive? It's a miracle! Rejoice, people! Halleluiah! Thank you God!

"Marjory..." I looked to see John and a group of others in my year. There was silence, then they all burst into a riotous applause.

"That was amazing!"

"He was huge!"

"Weren't you scared?"

"You're really scary when you're angry! Did you know that?"

"It was like you were a different person!"

"Yeah, you're usually a fucking doormat!"

That last lovely statement was made by Alistair. Said like a true friend, you know? When we were on the way to registration and there was no-one talking to me, I had the time to relay a horrified thought to Bevier.

__

Why did you do that!?!? I could have died!

His answer was still full of pent up fury.

__

How DARE he treat you like that! He had no right! 

What if he had attacked me!?

He wouldn't have, he's a coward!

I was happy to ignore him!

You shouldn't HAVE to ignore him! That's what having a knight protector is about!

Well-

I was pulled out of the conversation with the voices in my head (LOL that sounds so wrong) as I entered registration. I sat down in my usual seat and David Armour immediately spun around to face me.

"You pure shou'ed at Big Deansey!"

__

Big Deansey? That's the Villians name? I shall have to remember that...

"NO!"

From the shocked silence I realised that I had shouted out loud.

"But yeh did! Ah saw yeh! Yeh were shou'in' aw this mad crap aboot honour an' shit."

"Oh, oh yeah, him. Is his name Big Deansey, I thought you were talking about someone else." I said quickly. David looked puzzled.

"You know two Big Deanseys? Big Deansey won't like that... Tae o' him...."

__

There are two of him?

A thoughtful silence.

__

I shall have to use my sword....

...What!? NO! Don't! Leave it! Just! Leave! It!

He has to pay!

No! He doesn't! Leave it! It's fine! 

No it's not! Your honour must be upholded!!

WHAT'S THE USE OF UPHOLDING MY HONOUR WHEN I'M SPLATTERED ACROSS THE GROUND!?

Bevier sounded offended.

__

I'm not asking you_ to be part of it. You are a lady._

I slammed my head off the desk in front of me.

"Why me?" I moaned.

David Armour looked confused.

".....Are yew feelin' awrigh'?"

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Hurrah! ^_^ Go Bevier! Oh, by the way, a "ned" is a term for probably the greater part of my school. It stands for Non Educated Delinquent. Also, if you're having trouble with the accents tell me and I'll type normally. One thing I coudn't put in was how nobody seems to pronounce the ts. As in "Ba'ered" rather than "battered" so you'll just need to pretend it. ^^;; I know the neddish accent is dumb, but it's so funny to listen to! LOL! Review, my bonny lads and lassies!


	8. Rabble Time! A typical day at a Scottis...

Heeheehee! ^_^ Randomness is fun! Especially when it's randomness in my school! ...heehee! I don't own David Eddings, Bevier, Mr Lawson or indeed any of my classmates. Or else things would be VERY different! I would be their queen! XD Or not lol. I guess I kinda own the mad spell thing Bevier put on me... *gasp* I own something? Yay! *dances*

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Okay, first period! Art. Good, 50 minutes to get my head straight. 

__

Bevier!

Yes, My Lady?

Please don't do that again.

What?

The...taking over my body-type-thingie-ma-jigger!

I was only looking after your well-being.

He sounded huffy.

__

Well, just, please don't? Just watch. Right?

...very well.

Thank God.

...what?

Nevermind....

For the next few periods Bevier stayed true to his word, which was good. Of course, it didn't stay that way. (AN: Mwuhahahahaha- *cough cough choke* x_x).

~*~

I sat exchanging pleasantries with the girl next to me in our Biology class, when there was a sudden ear-splitting crash from the door. The entire class jumped and looked at the doorway, where our teacher, Mr Lawson, stood with his fist still clenched and the file cabinet still vibrating.

"Shu'rup ya rabble!" he growled in his deep, gruff voice.

The entire class as one straightened their backs and gazed at him with the utmost attention. Then, as he went over and sat down, we started to quietly chat agin.

"Shu'rup or I'll give you a punnie!" (A "punnie" is a punishment exercise, lines, whatever you want to call them.)

He grumpily flicked through the register.

"Kylie"

There was silence.

"Which one?" asked Kylie. (AN: Mr lawson calls both Kylie and Cheidhle "Kylie"..o.o dun' ask me..)

"I don't care!" he exclaimed in his southern English accent (That's like Somerset english, not posh english).

"Anyway, Rebecca!" he called out, continuing down the register.

"Here"

"Alec"

"Here"

"Haystacks"

"Here" sighed Jonathan

"Fiona!"

"Here!"

"Kirsty!"

"Here!"

"The Budgie!"

"Here!" said Sanna

"Mark!"

"Here!"

"Nicola!"

"Here!"

"Motor-mouth!"

"Sir!" cried out Cheidhle again in annoyance.

"Shu'rup, Motor Mouth! I'll put you in silence!"

She let out a huffy gasp.

"Cara and Chiara!"

"Here!" giggled the two of them from in front of me.

"And Marjory." (Well, it sounded like "Maaaaajuree" cause of his accent . )

"Here!" I called out.

"Now," he thoughtfully tapped the sheet in front of him "We have a test in Feeding today."

There was a general groan as Mr Lawson wandered around, handing out sheets of paper and smirking evilly.

__

What ill-mannered person is this?

Shhhh! It's my Biology teacher!

"Question one!" my teacher barked "What is aerobic respiration?"

_Easy!1 Maybe today won't be so bad after all._

~*~

"Question nine! What is the start of the digestive track?"

__

Aha! The mouth!

"Here's a clue, I'd like to punch you in it."

As I started to write "mouth" I was stopped.

__

No! That's not the right answer!!

...huh?

You don't punch someone in the mouth! You punch them in the stomach! The answer is stomach!

But...

Stomach is the correct answer!

Uhh...okay...

I hastily scribbled out "mouth" and wrote "stomach" instead.

~*~

I ended up getting almost full marks. Just one wrong.

"Question Nine: the answer is mouth!" Mr Lawson said, yawning.

__

............... ( I didn't need to even say anything.)

__

Well, he wouldn't last very long in a fight. Who ever heard of punching someone in the mouth? (Bevier sounded defensive, but he also sounded very deeply irritated. probably at Mr Lawson's lack of fighting knowledge.)

I sighed.

~*~

__

What do you have next?

Oh, P.E.

Ah. What's P.E.?

Physical Education.

....?

Sports, like running and swimming and stuff.

Isn't it rather hard to run around in a shirt and tie? (AN: Damn school uniforms! . I have to wear a tie! Everyday!)

__

We don't wear our uniforms for P.E., we bring shorts and T-Shirt and have to.....oh crap!

I stopped in the middle of the corridor (causing several neds to start swearing before shoving past me) and let out a strangled moan. I should have remembered I had P.E. today! Bevier hadn't said anything, I think his brain seized up. Probably in shock.

Well, I could have dogged P.E., but I've never skipped class, and I wasn't about to, thank you very much! That left, well, going into a room full of undressing girls with a man in my head. Damn it, why is nothing ever easy!?

Outside the door I stopped.

__

I'm not going in there!

I have to! It's my class!

I managed, with great effort, to jerkily grab the door handle and push open the door. Then, resisting the urge to bolt in the opposite direction (and then probably to bolt to the nearest chrch to pray for forgiveness) I shuffled into the changing room. My face immediately turned scarlet and wwith lowered eyes I walked to the corner of the bench. Now, have you ever tried to undo a tie and unbutton a shirt with your eyes closed? It's bloody hard! Especially when you have to hang them up on a peg as well!

"Marjory, are you feeling okay? You look feverish."

I opened a single eye to glance at my teacher, Mrs Minto, and then snapped it shut again. My blush, if anything, deepened.

"I'm fine!" I choked out, almost tripping up trying to get my leg out of my trousers.

"Why have you got your eyes shut?" now the sympathy was out of her voice and there was just exasperation.

"Uh...uh..."

__

This is NOT proper!

"I'm not saying that!"

"Not saying what?"

"Uh.. nothing."

__

Say it goes against your religious beliefs!

No!

"Marjory!"

"Yes, Mrs Minto?"

"_Why_ have you got your eyes shut?"

"Umm...the lights are too bright in here! They hurt my eyes! Maybe you could turn them off!"

__

YES! Turn them off! Please!

"Marjory, don't be silly. The lights are as bright as they usually are and you've never had a problem with them before. If you have an eye condition I'll need a note from your parents."

With that she wandered away to call the register and I managed to finish getting changed. On the bright side, at least we were only doing Soft Ball (Kinda a variation of base ball) this session, and not swimming. That would have been pushing Bevier's sanity (and my modesty) too far.

~*~

"Next to bat!"

I wandered over to home base.

"Okay, I want to apologise in advance for getting the team out!"

"Marjory!" Mrs Minto scolded, "You're being negative! Hit that ball to the housing estates!"

"Uh...I'll try"

__

Aye right, Like I'm sooooooo going to be able to hit the ball over three football pitches and the road! 

What's the aim of this game again?

You have to hit the ball as hard as you can and run round past all those hoops on the ground and the other team try and get you out.

.....why? What's the point in running in a square?

I have no idea, but it's easier than gymnastics and more interesting than table tennis, so I'll not complain.

Lauren Ross threw the ball towards me and I swung and missed.

"Strike one!"

__

You missed.

I know. I suck at this.

I beg your pardon?

I'm not that good at this.

She threw again, I missed again.

"Strike two!"

__

You keep missing.

You're putting me off!

Lauren threw the ball agian.

__

Here, let me.

As the ball came, Bevier brought the bat swinging round and walloped the ball. It made a dull thunk sound and flew right up into the air, across the diamond, and just missed Alistair's head. Alistair, as in, my friend who was fielding over two football pitches away.

__

Wow. You're good. That was a belter.

I suddenly realised that my team had been screaming for me to run for the last minute, and as the opposite team ran to get the ball, I skipped daintily from base to base with a huge grin plastered on my face. Okay, maybe having Bevier in my head at P.E. wasn't the worst thing that could happen. I could get used to changing with my eyes shut. Maybe.

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Okay, eight, I think tht this chapter was weaker in some bits, so I apologise for that. Ehh.. I'm glad I finally finished it ^^;;, so read and review (and thanks to all those lovely people who have reviewed so far, I love you all, you're just pure mental by the way!) (I love ned talk XD )

Oh yeah, I recommend reading my friend Wren Da'ar's fanfic "Oh What A Knight!". I really love it and not just because I'm one of the main characters! ^_^ It's really funny and you should read it, along with her other fanfic "Demon Singer" which is also really good. Okay, I'm done! =D


	9. Stalkers and a Knight on the internet ba...

Errr...hi! I don't own David Eddings! ^_^ Thanks for all the reviews I've been getting, by the way! You have no idea (or maybe you do) how much you need encouragement with a fanfiction, or maybe just I need encouragement with a fanfiction...either way....here's the next chapter:

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Mum and I were in the town near our village after my dental appointment, when it happened.

"So, what happened at school today?"

__

Pffft! Like I'm gonna tell you!

"Oh, nothing much...."

"Well, I need to go to the bank, will you wait outside?"

"KAY!"

While my Mum stood in line I skipped up and down the main street of the small town near our village. I got several odd looks, probably as I look closer to seventeen than fourteen, and a "seventeen year-old " skipping up and down a busy street is an unusual sight. However, at the moment I didn't care. Bevier had taken off the spell when I got in from school and I was busy goofing off as much as possible without his constant supervision. There was only some old people standing at the bus stop, so I didn't have that many observers. Humming a Beatles tune under my breath, I procceeded to dance outside the door of the Building Society.

"Come togetheeer! Right noooow! Over meee-"

"Right, Marjory, home?"

I spun to face my Mum.

"Righty ho!"

Together, we walked back towards the car park, with me still singing under my breath. Sometimes I wonder why she doesn't disown me..... 

Suddenly, there was a large-ish crowd of people around us. No big problem, they were mainly just men coming home discussing the footie.

"Awww, Rangers are pure the best man!"

"Aye, that goal was a beauty!"

__

Football......boring.....

"Is that her?"

"Yes."

"How can you tell?"

"I can almost smell that revolting styric magic coming off her!"

My humming trailed off as I heard the hissing voices. Did that one say "Styric"?

"You can sense her power? Are you sure it's her?"

"Of course I'm sure, you idiot! I'm here to find the girl, you're here to bring her in."

"Yes, but she looks moon-kissed. How do you know for sure she's The One?"

"Look, she's giving off Styric magic! Where do you think she's getting that energy from if she's not The One! Is a friendly knight helping her out, perhaps?" the voice was dripping sarcasm. "The worlds were seperate until now, she *has* to be The One!"

"I suppose you're right. Do we get some fun before bringing her in?"

"Yes, as long as she's alive the master won't care. In fact, if she's going to be trouble to bring in, we're just to kill her. But she *can't* come through alive without being bound, gagged, and under our control, understand?"

"I understand."

__

Oh...my...God....are they talking about me?

My pace started to quicken. The sooner we were in the car and home the happier I'd be. Alas, it really wasn't my day. I almost tore the door off the car in my haste to get inside, only for my Mum to exclaim:

"Oh, no! I must have left my handbag in the Building Society, I'll be two minutes!"

And she was gone, leaving me vulnerable in the car. I locked the door and attempted to read my book. Everytime I heard footsteps I would jump, but they were mainly just the inhabitants of the town. I started to relax. Then I saw out the corner of my eye a shadow. I glanced up to see two men at the end of the pavement, both were staring at me. I gulped back a whimper and tried to concentrate on the book again, but I could feel their stares burning into the back of my neck. I looked up sideways again, and examined my stalkers.

They were both in rather non-descript dark clothes, one had slicked back black hair and was tall and skeletal, the other had course brown hair, and was rather more muscled. The looks in both their eyes made me want to hide int the car dashboard.

Finally, and about time too, my Mum appeared and we drove home. I couldn't shake the uneasy feeling that those two men had given me. Why were they interested in me? Did they know about Bevier? What was that they were talking about "The One"? I mean, it sounded like a Mary Sue fanfiction! What the hell was up with it? And what did that guy mean "Moonkissed"? How offensive can you get? I prefer "random" myself.....

~

It was later that evening, and I was surfing the net and listening to old music, and Bevier appeared. He always seemed to do that. It was bloody amazing! Well, it was also bloody embarrasing as I was singing along (and dancing) to "Mrs Robinson" by The Beatles.

"Greetings, My Lady."

"Here's to you, Mrs - WOAH! Hi!"

I smiled brightly at him, trying to pretend I hadn't actually been playing air guitar at all.

"What are you doing?"

"Oh, just surfing the net, pull up a chair."

He did so.

"What is a net? And why are you surfing it, whatever that means..."

I grinned, and explained it. He blinked a little, and I decided a demonstration was in order.

"Look, it helps me get information, kind of like a huge limitless library. If I go to, say, Google.com I can look up anything I want..."

"Err...why were you looking up _Georgina The Dancing Pineapple_?"

"Uhhh....for school?" I lied glibely.

"...Your education system is very obscure...."

"Yep, I know."

"So, you can look up anything you wish?"

"Almost anything, and I can get pictures and stuff as we-"

"Marjory, who are you - what?!"

My mum looked wide eyed at Bevier sitting next to me and I felt myself turn bright red.

"Well, uhhh...you see..., mum, it's like....uhhh...."

Suddenly Bevier murmured something and my mum's eyes glazed over.

"Never mind, dear, I thought I heard someone in here..."

She turned and wandered absently away, and I turned to stare incredulously at Bevier, who smiled a little self conciously.

__

Of course! The spell from the books that stops people noticing him!

"That's how you get in and out my house without my parents knowing, and how you creep up on me, isn't it?"

he looked a little put out at this exclamation.

"I do *not* creep! Anyway" he changed the subject "back to this net busness. You get information on it?"

"Yep."

"Would I be able to use it?" there was curiosity in his voice now.

"Uhh...sure..."

I curled up in the corner with my book, and read. And read. and read. And fell asleep reading.

~

It was in the morning, I woke up with the book over my eyes. I was lying down on my bed.

__

How did I get here?

There was a knock on the door, and Hugh wandered in.

"Awake?" he asked.

I yawned. "Mhm."

"Good, Bevier put you here last night after you fell asleep. he didn't want to wake you, or something."

"Oh my God, is he still here?"

"No, he left ages ago, but he found what he was looking for."

"....which was?"

Hugh handed me a print off and I scanned it.

"Proffesor Tammas? Expert in cross-dimension transportation theories, UFO landings and other phenomena? What the hell?"

"He might be able to help us, Marjory. If we can figure out how bevier got here, we're half way to finding out how to send him home."

"So what did you do, email the guy?"

"Nup, he lives in Glasgow, we'll go and visit him today!"

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Heheheheheheheh, the plot thickens, like a good soup! ^^;; I'll try and update soon. I own the two stalker guys, and Georgina the dancing Pineapple. I own nothing else, not even myself. Review please.


	10. Glasgow Part 1

Okay, here we go, sorry about not updating. I had my 4th year prelims, and I had a lot of homework and stuff. Oh! Good news for the bevier fanatics among us! (You know who you are!) My friend, Jessie, has got her bevier fan-site up and running. It's the only (as far as I'm aware) one about and the link is here: so go check it out. (It's cool!) Also, you may (or may not) have noticed the other fanfic under my name, which I DID NOT write. It was written by my "friend" John, who incidentally is the John from this fanfic. Hahahah (Don't tell him, kay? ^_~) So, umm, yeah. I've rambled too much - on with the fic! (And I don't own Bevier!)

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It was a lovely Scottish morning: the sky was grey, there was a forecast of rain, and my little brother was being a pain in the arse. I glared at him and narrowed my eyes. He continued to make eye contact with me, putting all the sullenness and stubbornness an eleven year old could possibly possess into the glare.

"You. Can't. Come."

"I. Want. To. Come."

"Too. Bad. It's. Just. Me. And. Hugh."

"I. Want. To. Come."

I could feel my eyes beginning to water and I let out such a barrage of mental swearing that I think it would have given Bevier a heart failure had he been "On-Spell" as it were.

"You. Can't. Come."

"Mum. Says. I. Can."

__

Damn you, Mum! 

Finally finding an excuse to break eye contact, I heaved a sigh and flopped down onto the chair, acting as though I couldn't care less.

"In that case, nobody's going anywhere."

He just stood there, calm and composed and I had an over-whelming urge to thump him on the head. After a few minutes, when I thought I was going to go mad, Hugh walked in with his jacket on.

"We going, Marjory?"

"Cameron wants to come," I said evenly, giving Hugh frantic signals with my eyes.

__

If Cameron comes, he'll find out about Bevier. And he'll tell everyone because my little brother is the worst person in the ENTIRE world at keeping secrets. Then Bevier will be taken to a mental home and Mum and dad will kill me and Hugh and I'll die and then-

"Cameron - you can't come." said Hugh flatly.

"Mum says I can." he sounded a little more unsure, Hugh being six years older than him while I was only half that.

"Well, you can then."

I stared at Hugh in horror and he gave me a significant look.

"However, Marjory and I won't be able to buy _it_."

__

It? What the hell is he talking about?

"What?" asked Cameron curiously.

"Why, yourChristmas present!"

That made Cameron pause. Hugh turned to me and gave me a conspirative grin, which I returned.

"Yeah, I mean, you'll find out what it is and it won't be a surprise then, will it?" I asked.

"Look, Cameron, I'll take you up another day, okay?"

My little brother sighed. "Alright, Hugh..."

__

GO HUGH!

We left the house, and as the door closed behind us I let out a sigh of relief.

"That was close..."

"Cameron is such a wee...." my brother tried to think of a word.

"Idiot?" I asked.

"No, the word is fanny." was the reply, and I started to snigger.

We set off down the road in Hugh's little red second-hand banger which I had secretly nick-named "Putt-putt", and after a few hundred yards we saw Bevier perched on a wall. I let out a groan. He was in his original knightly attire. He was gonna go into Glasgow dressed as a...well...a knight? Hugh opened a door, cheerfully calling out:

"In you come! It's freezing, but it'll heat up in a few minutes."

Bevier eyed the car warily, and reluctantly sat in the passenger seat.

"Are you sure it's wise for you to be dressed like that, Bevier?" I asked cautiously.

"I am a knight. I shall dress as such."

"Yes, but, it's, well, uhh,-"

"Don't worry, Marjory," my brother assured me, "Nobody will care."

As we flew along the motorway to Govan and the underground, I lay my forehead against the window and peered out through the condensation at the frosty landscape, shimmering silver in the weak sun. Everywhere was covered with frost. The cars, the fields, the roads, the pylons. Everything. I looked at the car's temperature reading: -3 degrees? No wonder it's so bloody cold!

"Is this Glasgow?" asked Bevier curiously, as Hugh parked the car.

"No," laughed my brother, "This is Govan, we have to get the Underground."

"Underground?"

"You'll see."

"Bevier?" I asked cautiously.

"Yes?"

"Maybe you should...you know...loose the sword?"

"Why?"

"It's illegal to carry weapons."

Bevier looked affronted.

"No wonder this world is in such a state!"

"Seriously, Bevier," said my brother, clearly trying to calm, him down, "You could get arrested. Just put it in the boot of my car."

He reluctantly did so.

"And any other weapons."

Two daggers were added to the pile."

"Is that all?"

...........

One more dagger.

I bit my lip as we entered the underground and Hugh purchased the tickets. Sidling up to him, I poked him in the small of the back.

"Ow! What?!"

"Hugh, I don't know if this is such a good idea, taking the underground..."

"Why not?"

"Bevier...well...he's not that great even around cars, what's he gonna be like with this?"

My brother gave me the careless grin that some men save to have perfected into an art.

"Don't worry, he'll be fine."

"No, but-"

"Marjory. He's a grown man. Stop fussing!"

__

He's not a man! He's a knight! There's a difference! Knights have a BRAIN! Knights LISTEN! Knights actually THINK before dragging other knights on the Glasgow Underground! 

"I mean," said Hugh, laughing a little, "How bad could it be?"

I gave him a deadpan stare.

__

.... You so totally do not know Bevier. It could be very bad. Infinitely so.

Then, casually ignoring my better sense of judgement, my brother strolled off towards the escalators.

"Come on, Bevier," I said, taking the knight's hand, "We'll just take the stairs I think."

~~~

"And now," announced Hugh grandly, sweeping his hands through the air theatrically, "I shall show unto you the secret known only late night party goers and students at Glasgow University! I shall predict where the door shall open!"

He walked up to what looked like a normal bit of edge and took two steps to the left. Then he waited.

"What's that sound?!" asked Bevier urgently, looking around.

"What sound?"

"That.... rattling noise."

"That's the..." I gulped, "train."

"Train?"

"Yeah, it...uhh...takes us into Glasgow..."

The train was getting closer and closer, and suddenly a pair of lights appeared round the bend of the tunnel. With a scream of brakes, which made me want to clamp my hands over my ears, the train drew up to a stop, and the door opened directly in front of my brother. I looked around to see Bevier with his back pressed up against the wall and his eyes as wide as saucers.

"Come on, it's alright, Bevier." I tried to pull him over to the door. "You want to get back to Eosia, don't you?"

That seemed to do the trick. He cautiously walked on board the train, getting really odd looks from the other passengers. A space miraculously cleared for us, and we all sank gratefully down onto the prickly orange cushions.

"Now" said my brother cheerfully, seemingly unaware of how pale Bevier had gone, "It's just a few more stops and we're at Buchannan Street."

We actually arrived at our stop with a very small amount of trouble, and Bevier visibly relaxed when we got off the train. It was the weekend, and coming up to Christmas, and Buchannan Street was absolutely packed. I noticed, however, that wherever we went, there was at least a two-metre gap between me and anyone else. At first I wondered if it was Bevier's clothes, but then I noticed that it was Bevier himself. He was glowering at anyone who came near me. I didn't blame them for getting out the way (If he'd glared at _me_ like that I would have ran for the hills!) But I was puzzled. While Bevier was busy giving a bunch of middle aged men death stares, I sidled up to Hugh and poked him again.

"OW! You know, you could just tap me on the shoulder or something!"

"Sorry. Why is Bevier scaring everyone away?"

"Well, last night online, he, uhh, found some _sites_..." from the emphasis Hugh put on the last word I got his meaning straight away and decided to drop the subject.

"Oh right, okay. That explains a lot."

I turned my head away so Bevier wouldn't see my grin. It would probably hurt his feelings.

~~~

"Well, here it is....," said my brother, looking up at the dirty redbrick council flat. "This is supposedly where the professor lives."

"It doesn't look very great." I muttered.

We pressed the buzzer.

"...What do you want?!" wheezed an old voice after a couple of seconds.

"Are you Professor Tammas?" asked Hugh.

"NO! GO AWAY!"

"But we need to ask you something!" I whined.

"I SHUT DOWN YEARS AGO! NOW PISS OFF!"

Bevier stalked up to the speaker; his face like thunder, and hissed into the speaker in a dangerously low voice.

"If you do not open this door straight away, Old Man, I give you my world I will come after you and break all your fingers before slitting your throat! Do we understand each other?!"

There was a few seconds silence, then the door opened.

"You'd best come in."

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Ahahahahaha! Such a cliffhanger! Don't worry, I'll update real soon, but this chapter was getting too long so I'm splitting it. I own Tammas cause I just made up the name on the spot. ^_^ Read and review!


	11. Glasgow Part 2

Yay! Another update, and so soon! I dun' own David Eddings or Bevier, I do own Tammas. I suppose I own his theory (Not that it's very original, but yeah ^_^). Huzzah.

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We walked up the stairs, and I took in the dust, cobwebs and dirt, which covered the walls. The professor was obviously in hard times. We reached the door and Bevier didn't even bother knocking. He merely planted his foot squarely on the area around the handle, and kicked it sharply open.

"Hey! Be careful!" came the same wheezing voice from the intercom. It belonged to a skinny old man with thinning grey hair and worn clothes.

"Professor Tammas?" asked my brother. The old man nodded slowly. "We need your help with something!"

"Do yer now? Well, la di da! Find someone else!"

"No! Really! We need your help! Our friend here is from another world and we need to find out how to send him back!"

"Yes, I'm sure." he said in a voice heavy with sarcasm. "Pull the other one, it has bells on."

"No, but-"

"I've had enough prank calls and jokers to last me a lifetime. And you are one of the less convincing ones, I assure you."

Bevier picked the guy up by the front of his shirt and pushed him against the wall. "Look, I wish to return to Eosia. You can help us the easy way or the hard way but I am NOT willing to waste my time! Now, do you believe us or will I have to persuade you?"

The man struggled feebly against Bevier's grip. "Alright, alright, I believe you, put me down!" Bevier let go of him and he rubbed his chest, giving the knight an injured look.

"No need to get violent on me, I'm just an old man! Anyway, so you're from this...Eosia was it?" we all nodded. The man shuffled forward, screwing up his face and squinting at Bevier.

"Who are you?"

"I am Sir Bevier, champion of the Cyrinic Knights of Arcium."

"Are you now?"

"Yes."

He examined the knight for a few minutes longer, then nodded thoughtfully.

"Did you come here about a month ago, during that storm?"

Again we all nodded and the man let out a sigh.

"Come and sit down."

Once seated, Tammas examined us over the tops of his fingers.

"I specialise in a lot of things, and I think I might know what this is, but tell me, in detail, what happened the night you came here."

"Well, I was headed to Cimmura when I was attacked by bandits. I was holding them off easily, but then my horse spooked at something and threw me. I just remember falling to the ground and then waking up here."

"Was it stormy?"

"Yes."

"Did you experience a sense of nausea upon waking up?"

"Yes."

"Dizziness?"

"Yes."

"Did you injure yourself coming here?"

"Not that I know of."

"Who was the first person you met upon arriving?"

I timidly raised my hand.

"Did you hear anything odd that night?"

"Only thunder." I replied.

"Ah." he sat happily for a minute or so, turning things over in his head.

"Well?" my brother eventually asked. Tammas sighed.

"As you all probably know, well," he said with the hint of a smile at Bevier, "as you should realise now anyway, there are many different worlds and parallel dimensions. They are all usually separate. However, it is my theory that sometimes, if enough random energy is built up, it can make a gateway through from world to world. The chances of this happening are very slender, but not impossible, as your knightly friend has proved."

"Is there a way to go back?" asked Bevier tensely. A pained expression appeared on Tammas' face, and he shook his head.

"The chances of enough energy building up again within even the next millennium are practically non-existent. I'm sorry, but it looks like you're stuck here."

Bevier nodded sadly, as if confirming something he had known all along. As we left the building I tried to feel bad, but against my very best efforts, there was still a part of me that did a little dance of happiness.

"Don't worry," said Hugh, "There is still a chance, even a tiny one, that another gate could come. Besides, he might not know what he's talking about!"

"Maybe," said Bevier neutrally, "But I'd better get used to here, in any case."

~~~

Hugh decided that, since we were in Glasgow anyway, we might as well have a look around some shops. No, corrections, since we were in Glasgow anyway, he would drag us around music shops and make us stand for hours in the high street while he worshipped guitars.

"Look at this one! Wow! Such a _beast_!"

I stood muttering under my breath.

"Bloody guitar shops. _Oh, let's go shopping!_ He says, but do we even go to any bookshops? Nooooooooooo! I mean, what's the use of shopping if you don't even stop for a peek in a bookstore?!"

"Hi Marjory!" I spun round, my heart sinking, and saw about half the girls from my classes all standing around holding shopping bags.

"Uhh.... Hi." I tried to surreptitiously sidle in front of Bevier.

"What you doing?" asked Cara Wilson.

"Oh, just shopping.... Ahahahahaha...aha..."

"Are you here with your brother?" asked another girl.

"Uhh...no."

"...But he's right behind you..."

"Oh! My big brother? Yes, I'm here with him, I thought you were talking about my little brother because, uhhh, he's not here!" I let out another little half-hysterical laugh.

"Well, we're shopping to and-" Chiara stopped mid-sentence. "_Who_ is that guy next to your brother?!"

"What guy?!?!" I squeaked.

"The one in the...cape?"

"Oh, him! He's uhh...uhhh..uhhh.."

"He's so HOT!" gasped Kyle.

"Oh...my...god..." moaned Ceihdle, "has anyone got a mirror? My hair must be a total mess!"

"Why's he dressed like that?" asked Amanda.

"Oh..well..you see..." I tried to think up a suitable excuse for Bevier's clothes, "Well, he's part of..of...the university Sci Fi and Fantasy club!"

__

Yes! Thank you, Glasgow University!

"And they have this thing where they dress as, like, characters and do pub crawls and stuff."

Understanding dawned on the faces of my peers.

"You are, like, so lucky!" squealed Sara, "I wish _my_ brother knew guys as hot as him!"

"I know!" sighed Chiara.

"Sex on legs!" drooled Hannah.

"He must, like, work out," said Ceihdle.

"So..._hot_...." murmured Kylie, who seemed to have gone into a trance.

I was beginning to get a little jealous.

"Is he, like, single?" asked Ceihdle.

__

OH NO YOU DON'T! MINE! MY BEVIER! NOT YOURS!

"Marjory?" I looked up to see Hugh beckoning me, "Time we went home!"

"Okay!" I called out. Turning round, I managed to give my peers a wave and bared my teeth in what I hoped was a civil smile. They didn't seem to notice all to busy standing with their mouths open staring at Bevier.

"So......._hot_!" moaned Kylie again, and there were murmurs of agreement among the rest of the group. I rolled my eyes, and then walked off. Honestly, did these girls have no dignity?! (----Ahahaha, like I do...XD )

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Well, you like? ^_^;; Read and review!!


	12. An Unprecedented Plot Twist

Hi again! ^_^;; Another fun-filled chapter....well....maybe...let's hope so. Oh, in Chapter 10, that thing about Bevier and the "sites", that was Sweetlee's idea that she said in a review, so, like, give her all your thanks ^^;; I forgot to add that in in the actual chapter. Also, the hot/cool thing in this chapter is brought to you by Songwind, so give her credit for that..and...so...uhh...yeah...I don't own David Eddings..

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"Okay!" declared Cara leaning over her english folder in a businesslike way, "Spill it!"

I tried not to groan. I'd been avoiding the girls in my class like the bubonic plague all day, but I'd caught it in the end.

"Uhh..spill what?" I asked inocently. She let out a huge gasp and rolled her eyes.

"That guy who was with your brother!"

__

Are they talking about me?

Uhh..yeah. They were there outside the guitar shop.

Ah.

"He looked so hot!" sighed Kylie, hugging her Animal Farm essay to her chest.

"Oh, I know!" giggled Ceidhle (My spelling of that changes every chapter x.x....such an awkward name...).

__

What do they mean? It was a very cold day, how could I be hot?

Uhh...well...that is...

"I can't believe you knew such a cool guy and never told me about it!" moaned Cara.

..................

There was a wave of utter bafflement from Bevier as he tried to figure this out.

__

.....How can I look cool and hot at the same time?

Despite myself, I started to grin.

__

Wait a minute...this is one of the strange expressions used in your world, isn't it?

Yeah....kind of.

What does it mean? Bevier sounded suspicious.

__

It means...uhh...

Yes?

Uhh...

Suddenly the bell rang , interrupting our thoughts.

__

Sorry, no time to talk! Gotta get to..uhh....home!

Half way down the hill towards the school bus I froze. At the other side of the carpark were the two guys that had stood outside my mum's car! They were both staring directly at me! Almost tripping up in my panic, I dove behind a group of fiftth years and hurried the rest of the way down the slope. As the bus drove home, I could see the clouds gathering....

***

It was dark, it was overcast, the skies were heavy, and after a tiring day at school I was crawling into my bed for an early night. Pulling the covers over my head, I shut my eyes, trying to shake off the weird feeling that had been at the back of my mind since seeing those two men at school. I don't know how long I lay there, whether it was minutes or hours, or whether I fell asleep or stayed awake, but after a period my senses suddenly prickled, and I heard the quiet crackle of stones from our drive, then slow, stealthy footfalls along the path towards my window. I held my breath, my heart beating wildly in terror, and I slowly looked out from under the corner of my cover. There was a silhouette of a figure outside my window! I shut my eyes tightly, just as I heard the tremendous crash of my window shattering. Some fragments of glass fell on the edge of my bed, and my curtains billowed in the night breeze.

Almost hyperventilating in fear, I cowered beneath my blankets, with only my eyes above them. A large boot appeared on the ledge, and with a grunt a figure landed just inside my window, glass shards cracking beneath his feet. It was the shorter, tougher looking brute out of the two men. He leered over at me, his piggy eyes glinting with malice.

"Well, now. Aren't you in trouble?" he sneered.

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Wow..o.o major plot twist. Well, I was actually planning on doing this anyway, but I was originally gonna extend the first bit but..uhh...there was a major gap between writing the first part of this chapter and the last part and i got bored and decided "What the heck! I'll just dive right into the action!" so yeah.. please review. I'll try and update soon, Guides Honour! *salutes* ^^;;


	13. The Continuation of the first unpreceden...

*fanfare playing* Tararara! UPDATE! *cheers* Here it is, hope you like it.

You lot are all too quick for me! *Grin* In answer to your ponder, Sweetlee, I left out myself telling Bevier on purpose precisely because I thought it made it more exciting...and also because I forgot to put it in, but anyway! Also, Songwind, you're probably a lot braver than me, but if a crazy scary guy appeared and smashed in my window I know that I _would_ probably just sit there terrified. Heart of a lion, me.

Metamorpheus....NO! NOT THE BRANDY SNAPS! NO! I'LL UPDATE, I WILL! KEEP YOUR CRAZY AUNT AWAY FROM ME! XD

So, uhh, thanks to everyone that has reviewed, I would like to do a whole list of shout-outs, but I would probably miss out someone by accident and then they wouldn't review any more, so then I'd get depressed and wouldn't update, and then crazy aunts of readers will force feed me brandy snaps and chocolate and, well, it would all just deteriorate from there. So I'm just going to say to all of the reviewers, I love you all! Thank you so much!

Also, I don't own David Eddings (darn...) or Bevier (DARN!) or anything that does not belong to me. Well, I've rambled enough. Enjoy.

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I didn't answer, couldn't answer. I just stared at the man in terror.

__

This can't be happening. This can't be happening.

He gave me another leer, just for good measure, then took a step towards me. I continued to stare wide-eyed at him. He looked a little puzzled, then took another step, obviously expecting a cry for help or something. A cry for help _would_ have been the sensible option, but my vocal chords were out of order. From stress related injuries.

He grunted menacingly. Maybe if I screamed and ran about that would make him feel better and he'd let me go. Or maybe I could distract him by pointing in mock terror at the window then find a weapon. Or maybe..... if by just not moving or speaking...... I could confuse him enough that he would leave......

After a few more seconds of confusion his piggy face contorted into a sadistic smile.

"I like a girl with spirit!" he drawled.

Darn...the confuse-him-by-not-moving-or-speaking-plan had failed. And now I was _really_ in trouble. Maybe I could make a break for it and lock myself in the bathroo- no, nevermind. That hadn't worked with Bevier, and although I would be the first to admit that Bevier had a heck of a lot more in his favour than this fellow (Like good looks, intelligence, charisma, hand-eye co-ordination...), Piggy here had good old fashioned brutality to fall back on, and he _would_ kick down the bathroom door. He just _looked_ the type!

"Uhhh...." I managed to mumble quietly, my voice cracking a little with fear. That seemed to make Piggy feel much better. He puffed himself up and his eyes glowed malevolently. Before he could make use of his newfound purpose, however, something struck him on the back of the head and he slowly toppled over, hitting the ground with a solid thunk. I let out a huge sigh of relief as I saw Bevier's familiar figure standing outlined against the night. I clambered out of bed and edged around the guy in the middle of my bedroom floor.

"Is he dead?" I asked nervously. Bevier shook his head.

"No, just unconscious. I took out the few scouts that were sent and chased off their horses, but more will probably come as back up. Get dressed quickly, I'll stand guard." He vaulted lightly back out the window, and I blinked a few times before going and obediently pulling out a pair of trainers from the wardrobe.

"_Get dressed quickly, I'll stand guard!"_ It was all right for _him_! He was used to this! Where would we go, anyway? And I had a Physics test tomorrow! With a parting sigh and a tug on my laces I went over to the window, now dressed in jeans and a T-Shirt, and called out in as loud a voice as I dared.

"Bevier! I'm done!"

He re-appeared and gave me his hand, and with a slither and a few small shattering noises from the leftover shards of glass, I landed on the ground outside. The clouds were really building up, and the air was positively solid. Now what?

"Now what?" I asked, and Bevier shushed me.

"This way." he murmured, moving across my front garden to the gate.

~~~

"Okay," whispered Bevier, as we both stood in the door of the stables, "Ready your horse, then wait for me. I'm going to look for any reinforcements!"

I gave him a nervous smile, and, wondering what on earth Bevier was planning, I made my way up the pitch-black stable yard and started tacking up Zita. I'd just put on her bridle, when I heard the creak of the yard door opening. I eagerly stuck my head out the stall to tell Bevier I was almost done, when I froze. It wasn't Bevier. It was Piggy. He must have had a harder head than Bevier had anticipated. And he had spotted me!

I ducked back into the stall anyway, and listened, heart thumping, to the sound of his footsteps as he swaggered up the yard.

"I'm coming to get you this time, Girlie!" he called out loudly (What a _stupid_ thing to do!), and I hoped that Bevier, where-ever he was, heard it. Sure enough, when I peeked around the door, I saw a shadow creeping stealthily along behind Piggy. Bevier's face was illuminated in a shaft of moonlight falling in through the ceiling, and he mouthed a message at me.

"_Distract him!_"

I was about to nod, but then stopped myself just in time, and, confident now I knew Bevier was there, opened the door and walked out. Piggy leered at me (Yet again! Maybe his face was always like that and it took an effort to put it in any other expression....) and asked in what he probably thought was a dangerously dark voice.

"Aren't you goin' to run, lass?"

I shook my head happily.

"Nup!"

He paused.

"You a witling or sumfin?"

I gave him a bright smile.

"Of course not!"

"Then....why don' you run?"

"Because..uhh...." I tried to think of something to keep him talking and confuse him (Not a hard task!).

"Yes?" He demanded.

"I..uhh...am a great warrior and I can defeat you in combat easily!"

He immediately started sniggering amusedly.

"Tell me another one, Girlie!"

"No, really!" I protested, "I am!"

"Then where's your weapon?" he asked, through snorts of merriment.

I looked around, then grabbed Zita's leadrope from the wall.

"You're gonna kill me with a piece of rope?" he asked dumbfounded.

"Mhm." I started swinging it around nonchalantly, the metal clip making a quiet whistling noise as it spun through the air.

"Right!" he grinned "Let's see it then." he drew his sword with a horrible sliding noise and started walking towards me.

__

Oh. Bugger.

I backed away a little bit, then saw that Bevier was almost directly behind my attacker now, so I summoned up my courage and gave the man what I hoped was an expression on cool defiance and not desperate terror. At that point a horse further down the yard whinnied suddenly, and Piggy stopped.

__

No! Don't look round! If you look round you'll see Bevier! Ack! What do I do?!

"Ho, Lavvy Heid!" I suddenly shouted, causing Piggy to glare round at me in anger. I didn't know whether he knew I'd just called him a toilet head or not, but he looked pissed off anyway.

"What?!" he snarled.

"You're gettin' it!" with that I leapt forward and introduced the leadrope clip to his face. There was an audible crack and he immediately let out a howl of pain, dropping his blade and bringing his hands to his face.

"B'ou b'oke b'y b'oody b'ose!" he screamed, "B'ou'll b'ay b'or b'at b'ou BITCH!"

He never got any further, because at that point Bevier's axe connected with his neck and caused his head and shoulders to part company. There was a soft thump and his head rolled away into the shadows. I blinked at it in shock.

".....he's dead." I said numbly, staring in surprise at the headless corpse lying there in the moonlight.

"Indeed." said Bevier, coming over to me and looking me up and down, checking for any injuries, breaks, cuts, bruises, rushing fluids, fainting, concussion, amnesia, decapitations etc. etc.

"Are you alright?" he asked concernedly.

"Yes."

"You're not hurt?"

"No."

"He didn't injure you?"

"He didn't touch me."

"Good." there was relief in his voice "Have you finished readying your mount?"

"No, not yet, I just need to-"

I was interrupted by several shouts from outside and running footsteps. Bevier immediately pulled me closer towards him.

"No time for that," he muttered, "the reinforcements are here. We'll need to go now."

"Go where?" I demanded, as he led Zita out of the stall and lifted me up onto her saddle-less back. "Why are they after us anyway?"

"I don't know." He answered.

"What are we going to do?" I asked, as I saw torched flickering through the double doors at the bottom of the yard.

"Escape."

"But how?"

"Trust me!" Bevier said, vaulting up behind me and digging his heels into my pony's side. She took off with a clatter full tilt down the slippery stone floor of the yard, and I let out a frightened squeak. Bevier wrapped his arm around my waist to steady me and with a leap we flew out through the large doors and into the group of men assembled itself outside the stables.

It was almost like a dream. I shut my eyes against the glare of the flaming torches reflected off rusty blades and chain mail. I felt and heard more than saw Bevier's axe cutting a path through the fighters. I heard screams and yells and was pretty sure that the warm sensation that splattered up my right leg was one of the unfortunate's blood. I suddenly wondered why there was no one else around. Surely this should have woken up my parents, or my neighbours, or someone? There was a bloody battle going on in the stable car park, for goodness sake! Suddenly, Bevier spun my terrified pony around and she took off at a flat-out canter along the road, skidding as she turned left and bolted up the hill. Just then the heavens opened, and within seconds I was drenched with torrential rain.

Bevier's arm was still holding me in place, but Zita wasn't used to carrying two people, and I could already feel her faltering and slowing up. I tried to look round to see if we were being followed, but it was so dark I couldn't see a thing, and the rain was stinging my eyes. The skies above us rumbled, and suddenly there was a lightning flash, that lit up the whole countryside around us.

"Just hold on!" Bevier shouted in my ear. "We're almost there!"

"ALMOST WHERE?!" I bellowed back, but Bevier didn't reply, he only tightened his grip round my waist.

There was another deafening rumble, and another tremendous flash of light, it felt like the whole world was tearing apart. Suddenly, though Zita was still running, we weren't moving forward, it was as if we were suspended in mid-air. Time slowed down, and there was another flash of light, but it didn't go away this time. It morphed and flowed all around us, pulling us forward. I realised that it wasn't white light at all, it was purple, and, inexplicably, my ears popped. With another final crash from above and an awful ripping noise that made my brain hurt, we were suddenly propelled forward as if released from a bow, and the world was plunged into screaming darkness.

~~~

I came to, wondering if I was dead. Then I realised that if I _was_ dead, it was pretty crap because I had a splitting headache and it was absolutely _freezing_. I forced open one of my eyes, and the painfully bright light only made my head feel worse.

"Are you awake?" Bevier's voice filtered down through my mind from nearby, and I managed to mumble an incoherent reply before rolling over and curling up into a shivering ball.

"Come on. Get up."

I slowly opened my eyes again, ready for the light this time. Without rising, I looked around. I couldn't see anything but a very close-up view of some grass. I shakily pushed myself up into a sitting position, totally disorientated, and Zita looked up at me with mild interest from where she was devouring greenery.

"What......happened?" I asked, my voice sounding muffled and quiet after the deafening experience beforehand.

"You should be able to stand in a few minutes, but you'll feel dizzy and tired for a while. The headache should go soon as well." explained Bevier evasively.

"Yeah.........but what......happened?" I asked again.

"You've been asleep for all of last night and most of this morning. The jump must have taken more out of you than of me because you're smaller."

I looked around. We were in a damp, muddy clearing surrounded by trees. It was wet and cold. And totally unfamiliar.

"Where are we?"

Bevier hesitated.

"Well," he began eventually, "I would make it a few days travel north of Cimmura, near where I was when I was attacked."

"Cimmura?" I asked, dumbfounded.

"Yes, the capital of Elenia. The home of Queen Ehlana and Prince Sparhawk."

"...Oh. Okay." I eventually managed. "So, we, uhh....when..last night...we....that storm was..."

"Yes. That storm last night was like the storm that brought me to your world in the first place. We are now in my world. Eosia."

"Oh. Well....great...." I said, not sure how to respond.

"But who were those men who attacked us?" muttered Bevier, more to himself than to me.

"Yeah, I know," I yawned, "I almost got a heart attack when I saw that guy at my window, but where was the other guy?"

"What?!" asked Bevier sharply, "You'd seen that curr before last night?! When?! Why didn't you tell me?!"

I immediately felt so stupid that I wanted to ground to swallow me up.

"Sorry," I said miserably, "I forgot. And besides, I thought they were just wierdos from town, junkies or something. And then -"

"Wait, slow down!" said Bevier, getting up and beginning to pace, "Tell me from the beginning."

So I did, but in the end I was more confused than when I had started.

"Do you have any idea who they were?" I asked hopefully. Bevier shook his head thoughtfully and my heart sank.

"However," he said, "I think it best if we travel to Cimmura as fast as we can. Hopefully my friends will be able to answer some of our questions."

I nodded, hoping he was right. Cause if Aphrael didn't have any idea what was going on, we were pretty screwed.

_And_ I was going to miss my Physics test!

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Yay! Read and review, peeps! (And did you know that miniature marshmallows are called "peeps"?)


	14. 14: The Happy Trout And Other Inanities

IT LIVES! IT LIIIIIIIIIIVES! Okay, I'm sorry for not updating in like…two years. In a way I think it's almost unfair that I'm putting up this chapter at all because I doubt I'll update again any time soon, but I suppose you never know. I wrote this mainly because I had a case of writers block for my original story I'm working on, and a sudden burst of inspiration for this old dinosaur. (All thanks to that brilliant story called "Aphrael's Birthday Party" – it got me in the Bevier mood!). So…uhh…enjoy, I suppose. I don't own David Eddings etc.

* * *

My toes were numb from the cold. So were my hands. My backside was warm at least, as my pony was without a saddle, but riding over long distances ACHES, man! And I'd been riding for the whole day. Well, sitting on a horse for the whole day. Well, most of the day. But Bevier refused to let me walk. Night was beginning to fall, enveloping the lush soggy green countryside in shadows.

The road, if you could call it that, was muddy. The chillingly damp breeze attacked me again, and I pulled Bevier's cloak tighter round my shoulders. Some exciting adventure. Eosia seemed similar to Britain (Scotland, anyway). Damp, cold, muddy, and miserable. I'd obviously brought the weather with me.

"We'll stop at that inn for tonight, and reach Cimmura by tomorrow." Said Bevier suddenly, breaking the silence. I looked up and squinted in the dim light. There was a big stone building by the side of the road.

"Cool. Uh, what's the inn called?"

"Does it matter?"

"I just thought that, you know, there'd be one of those hanging wooden signs you always read about."

"Hanging signs?" he asked slowly.

"Yeah. Like, if the inn was called _The Happy Trout_, there'd be a fish jumping out a river with a big smile, and it would say the inn's name underneath, and that's how you know what it's called."

Bevier looked at me with a long suffering expression.

"…The happy trout?"

"Yes."

"… Why would you call – nevermind. I don't want to know."

"What! It's a common name for the typical friendly inn!"

"Whatever you say, My lady. Now, when we go inside, stay close to me. Cover your clothes with my cloak so people don't ask questions and if you need to talk to anyone tell them – in fact, just don't talk to anyone. At all. Don't even open your mouth."

"Okie dokie."

"No speaking!"

"Oh, sorry!"

"SHH!"

I closed my mouth obediently and mimed zipping it shut. Bevier sighed.

"This could be harder than I first imagined."

He helped me dismount, and I jumped up and down a few times to try work the stiffness from my legs.

"Stop that! It's not very lady-like!"

"But my legs are stiff! I can't walk!"

"Don't be ridiculous."

"Seriously! Argh! Painful!"

"Oh, for goodness sake!"

"Can I...uh help you, Sir?"

A plump balding man of middle age was standing in the doorway. Light streamed out from behind him, and I squinted my eyes at its brightness. In one smooth motion Bevier pulled the hood of the cloak over my head and stepped gracefully in front of me.

"Yes, thank you, Good Sir. The lady and I require food and rooms for the night, and stabling for her…uh…steed."

Zita looked mildly disgusted by this, and tried to shove Bevier in the back with her nose. The innkeeper whistled, summoning a boy from round the corner.

"Larr, take the mare round and bed her down, please. Right this way, Sir. And lady, of course."

"Mm." I said regally, waving him on. A rather good impression of the queen's very own wave, if I do say so myself. A veritable wafting gesture of the highest degree. Bevier, ever the gentleman, kicked me. Not hard, but I glared at him anyway, feeling like one of the dark riders from Lord Of The Rings with his big cloak on. A Narf Ghoulie, or whatever they're called. Anyway…FOOD!

As a tourist visiting this dimension for the first time I was not overly impressed. The seats and tables were stained and a little dirty, the room was full of smoke, and the mug Bevier placed in front of me had little bits in it.

"What is this? Grog?"

"Ale."

"Oh. Is that alcoholic? Because I'm under-age."

He sighed.

"I need to talk to the innkeeper. Just stay here and stay out of trouble."

"Uhh…okay. Please hurry."

I examined the floaters in my ale mug glumly as Bevier disappeared off. One looked like a tiny bug trying to doggy-paddle its way to dry land.

_Swim, small beetle! Swim and be free!_

The door swung open at that point, banging loudly. I jumped, almost spilling my lovely wholesome ale all over the table. Two men swaggered in. They were both enormous. One was incredible tall and blonde, while the other seemed wider. How could he fit through the door! His shoulders were huge! Shuddering, I turned back to examining my ale and avoiding eye-contact with any of the men in the room.

"Beer over here!" bellowed one of the men, plonking himself on a chair and resting his foot on the table.

_Please hurry up, Bevier!_

My stomach was beginning to churn a little with nerves. Inns sound a lot more fun when you read about them. There's more jovial pig roasting and less scary drunk maniacs.

Suddenly, a mug was slammed down next to me. I almost leapt out my skin. The really tall guy grinned down at me.

"I've found my fun for tonight!" he declared, before sweeping me up and tossing me over his shoulder.

I did what any cool confident and mature young woman would have done in my situation. I screamed.

"AAAAAAAAAAAARGH!"

Most of the men in the room pounded the tables and cheered drunkenly. (So _now_ they were jovial…) Still yelling, I pounded the guy's back with my fists. It didn't do much good as he was wearing chain mail. The floor was a looooooong way down. My stomach lurched, and I shut my eyes. This could _not_ be happening!

I was still kicking and struggling when he left the bar and began climbing the stairs.

"Would you stop that!" he hissed at me.

There was a small _shing_ from nearby. It sounded like a sword being unsheathed.

"Unhand her you…" Bevier's voice trailed off suddenly. I tried to turn round and look at him, but my position was…awkward.

"What are you doing here?" Bevier no longer sounded angry. In fact, if I didn't know better I'd say he sounded…_amused_!

"What am _I_ doing here? What are _you_ doing here, old boy? We all thought you were dead!"

"It's a very long story, Ulath. Perhaps first you could explain why you're carrying off my charge."

Ulath! I looked down and noticed he had his hair in two long braids. Oh. That would explain the tallness, then.

"She's with you, then? I recognised the Cyrinic cloak, and decided I'd have a word with her. I had to throw off suspicion, though. Besides, from the way some of those men were looking, if I hadn't done something, someone else would have."

I felt sick.

"Can you put me down, now, please?" I asked, pitifully.

"Of course. Sorry, lass. Let's go up to my room where we can talk with a bit more privacy." That last part to Bevier, who nodded, sheathing his sword.

Ulath opened a nearby door and dropped me lightly onto a hard bed. I looked round the sparse room, and then at him. I would have gone for an angry baleful stare, but he was so huge I only glanced briefly at him before examining my shoelaces nervously. I couldn't believe it. I was finally meeting people I never would have thought I'd ever be able to talk to, and I just wanted to crawl away into my own little bed at home with its yellow duvets. I'm a miserable berk sometimes. Make that most of the time.

"Right, Ulath, this is Marjory. Marjory, this is Sir Ulath. A fellow knight and one of my most trusted friends."

Ulath smiled down at me, and I looked up at him with my eyes brimming with emotions, particularly abject terror. No-one should be that tall!

"So…you two are…together?" Ulath rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "I must say I'm surprised you've picked up a woman at all, but I always imagined you'd go for a maid who was less...plump."

_PLUMP!_

I looked down at myself. Okay, so perhaps he was right, but he didn't have to be so open about it. It's not like he had any trouble with my weight when he picked me up and pretended to abduct me!

"How droll." Said Bevier dryly. "Now is not the time for jests, Ulath. I am Marjory's protector and friend, nothing more."

"That still doesn't explain where you've been all this time. The queen's been going wild, she thinks you were assassinated or kidnapped or some such thing. We've tried to contact Aphrael, but she hasn't been speaking to us. And now, out of the blue, you turn up at an inn with a girl who is wearing the strangest clothes I have ever seen, and declare yourself her champion. Really, man, you're becoming quite arbitrary in your old age."

"Bevier?" the wide man, who I was guessing was Tynian, stood in the doorway, his mouth hanging open in shock. Ah, big round face. Yes, that would be Tynian.

"Tynian, my friend. How have you been?"

"What happened to you? You just disappeared!"

Bevier sighed.

"It is a long tale. Perhaps you should both sit down and I will explain. Do you remember when we were in the Tamul Empire, and Aphrael told us about the many different worlds that exist, hidden from our own? Well, I was travelling to Cimmura, when I was attacked by bandits, and somehow I was transported into one of these other worlds. Marjory took me in and hid me, and in return I vowed to protect her. Some strange men attempted to abduct her, and in helping her to escape them, we were both pulled back through to Eosia. And so here we are."

Ulath and Tynian both blinked at him.

"Oh. Well…that explains it." Said the Thelasian slowly.

It sounded so much more glamorous and dramatic when Bevier told it.

"A suggestion, Bevier. Perhaps you should let her majesty know you are well before she declares war upon some unfortunate out of frustration."

"A good suggestion, friend Tynian. I must ask her and Sir Sparhawk's advice in any case."

"Good. You can travel with us. We're headed to Cimmura ourselves. You have your horses stabled at this inn?"

"Well, horse singular. I shall have to buy another one."

I yawned, and Bevier smiled slightly.

"We should retire for now. Until the morrow, my friends?"

"Until the morrow, Bevier." Tynian clasped hands with him.

"It's good to know you're alive." Added Ulath. "I would have missed your axe."

* * *

Ah, been a long time since I typed this: READ AND REVIEW PLEASE! D Even if I don't update very often, 'tis nice to sometimes have someone come across my work and their opinion. Maybe if you all nag enough I'll actually finish this, although I don't know if I like the ending I originally had planned anymore… meh. Anyway, um, I have nothing more to say.

So, uh, bye for now ;;

(PS: Out of curiosity, do you think my writing style in this chapter has changed at all from the other chapters I wrote, like, a year ago? If so, do you think I've gotten better, or worse?)


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